Savannah

Here's a Cliff Notes version of some of my favorite places in one of my favorite places, Savannah, Georgia.

The Olde Pink House


(I’ve been here every trip to Savannah, a splurge, but always a great meal. In an old haunted pink mansion with a cool jazz bar in the basement.)



Ghost tour (always fun, been on one every trip to Savannah, totally different stories each time.)



Carriage tour or trolley tour (Nice if there’s time)



Kevin Barry’s (a must, right on the River Walk-good lager & pub grub, live Irish music some nights)



Pirate House (good southern food, cheesy tourist place, but interesting because it really used to be a pirates’ lair & slave holding area.)



Jack Leigh gallery (Nice if there’s time.  Affordable prints of his work.)



Savannah Candy Kitchen

225 E. River St. (great old-fashioned candy store)



Juliette Gordon Lowe house

(founder of the Girl Scouts, neat tour, haunted house)



Colonial Cemetery

(at the end of the Civil War, General Sherman’s men were holed up here-they desecrated graves-some stones were never relocated to their rightful owners & are lined up against a wall. Also, there’s a story of a man with giantism who was a social outcast & hung out in the cemetery. Several bodies of children were found at the cemetery & a lynch mob killed him. The next day, another child’s body was found at the cemetery. I saw red flashes of light here at night, would recommend going in the daytime.)



Misc.-the Forsythe Fountain is lovely, Monterey Square is where the Mercer House is (composer Johnny Mercer & the house used in Midnight in the Garden of Good & Evil); Chippewa Square was featured in Forrest Gump & has a cool Native American monument.



I would take a pass on Paula Deen’s The Lady & Sons, too crowded & touristy.



17hundred90 restaurant, bit pricey but good, haunted house.

Churchill’s Pub on Bay St., nice place to have a drink.



The Crab Shack

40 Estill Hammock Road

(This is on Tybee Island, about a 20 min. drive off the coast of Savannah, but if there’s time, it’s a fun place with great food, right on the ocean. I brought my PDD-NOS son to Crab Shack and he had a great time playing in the randomly placed sink, rinsing his hands over and over.  No one who worked there seemed to mind.)



Also on Tybee is Fort Jackson (haunted Civil War fort)



Hamilton-Turner B&B

330 Abercorn

(They have high tea in the afternoon, if there’s time.  Too many breakables and pretty things to bring the kids, though.)



Mrs. Wilkes’ Dining Room

107 W. Jones St.

(saw this on Rachael Ray’s $40 a Day – southern food served family style. Looks like they’re only open M-F, $16 per person, cash only, long line.  Long lines are very tough for ASD kids, so we usually skip this place.)



Molly MacPherson’s Scottish Pub-good Western European lagers & Tim had Scotch eggs for the first time.



Some bars I like: Moon River Brewing Co. on Bay St.

Sixpence Pub on Bull St.



Never done a riverboat tour on the Savannah River.

Tours in Key West

A must on every vacation I take is a city tour, usually on a double decker bus. In Key West, we chose to take the Conch Train Tour. It's a Jeep dressed up to look like a tank engine and it pulls the cars behind it. My sons are obsessed with Thomas the Train, so they loved it.

The Spanish called Key West "Cayo Hueso," which literally means "bone key." When the Spanish arrived, the area was littered with bones from Native American battles. The tour goes by the Little White House, where Truman used to stay, Hemingway's house, where you can still see the descendants of Hemingway's six-toed cats. Notable architecture is pointed out, specifically the Gingerbread Houses. These homes have an overlay of latticework on their porches. Some of the latticework is in the shape of gingerbread men, others show a symbol of the profession of the house's original owner.

Mallory Square is the area for boat tours. While waiting for our boat, the kids enjoyed watching street performers in the square and food cart treats. We took a glass-bottomed boat tour. This was beautiful. You get to see the third-largest coral reef in the world, lots of yellow-tailed snapper and the occasional barracuda. I recommend taking the tour that ends at sunset. The sunset in Key West is hard to describe, it's like the water swallows up the sun. The tour includes a champagne toast at sunset. 

That said, one of my sons decided to have a screaming fit because he wanted to climb over the guard rails to get closer to the glass bottom.  I'm accustomed to being the person with the screaming child on the airplane, but this was the first time on a boat.  It's similar as far as being trapped.  At someone's home or a public place, you can find a spot to take your child and help him calm down.  On a plane or boat, there's really nowhere to go, so you are trapped and the other passengers are trapped right along with you.  On this boat trip, I ended up going into the airplane-sized bathroom stall and just sat on the toilet seat trying to calm down my son.  I think I might have cried.

I consequently handed my son over to my husband after that and had both our complimentary glasses of champagne. Despite all the trouble, it was worth it - the sunset in Key West is truly spectacular.  It looks like the water just swallows the sun, no other way to describe it.

Whenever I am on vacation, I try to go on a ghost tour. I love ghost tours. Ghost tours give you a taste of the history of a city. The tour I took in Key West begins at the Concha Hotel, which is alleged to be haunted. A young man was trying to help his waiter friend clean up so they could get to a New Year's Eve party. He pressed a button to open the elevator doors, not realizing you had to push another button to actually call the elevator. He plunged down the shaft to his death. Apparently at certain times you can hear phantom dishes crashing. There was a tragic tale of a man who killed his wife and children. There's a theater built on the site, but the tenants never stay for long due to the supernatural activity. Our tour guide told us a story of a time when she had a particularly obnoxious child on her tour. The group was about a block away from the theater and the kid pointed at the building and said, "there's seven children over there and they're sad." She hadn't even started to tell the story yet. There's also typical ghost tour stories of lost love and voodoo. After the tour, go for a drink in the Concha Hotel's bar, it's lovely.  This was an adults-only night out, Grandpa stayed at the hotel with the kids.

In summary, I would say yes to the train tour with kids; no kids on the boat tour or ghost tour.

Car Seats when Traveling

A little advice on something I found out the hard way.




The first time we flew with baby, I booked a car seat with the car rental company. When we arrived in Miami and took the shuttle to the car rental place, they had no record of us ordering a car seat and the seat they ended up giving us was out-of-date and precarious – almost broken and unusable. The car rental companies also charge way too much for baby seats. I sat in the back seat with my son the entire vacation because I was so uncomfortable with that crappy baby seat.



We learned from that experience to check our car seats with our checked luggage. It’s also a good idea to bring an umbrella stroller. The baby can stay in the umbrella stroller until you are on the bridge, boarding the plane. The gate agent will give you a tag for your stroller and it will be waiting for you on the bridge when you de-board the plane at your destination.



That said, one time our two umbrella strollers ended up in Dallas instead of Chicago, so we had to wrangle squirming babies until the car seats came out at baggage claim, then load the babies in the car seats on a luggage cart to bring to our car. It was better than dragging the car seats through the airport!



I guess the bottom line is prepare as best you can, but understand that anything can happen when you travel, with or without kids.

Wizard of Oz

My degree is in Theatre, Music and English and involvement in local theatre is how my husband and I met. Over the summer, I did a production of “Footloose.” Tim brought the boys to visit me at a music rehearsal. Sean (who has PDD-NOS) sat down and started singing the alto part with us. He knew it better than some of the altos! He had learned it just from overhearing me practice at home. I saw this as a sign (in addition to being told he loves karaoke at school) that he might be ready to do his first show.




The Beverly Hills University Club Scholarship Foundation is an 80+ year old charity of which I am on the board of directors. They do an annual musical as their primary fundraiser. This year’s production was “Wizard of Oz.” I helped Sean prepare for his audition. He sang “Itsy Bitsy Spider.” He did so well he was called back to read for speaking roles and was cast as a Munchkin and in the Lollipop Guild.



He did very well at music rehearsals. He could sit and sing for 2 ½ - 3 hours and not lose focus. He had a harder time with rehearsals where staging was involved and they would run the Munchkinland scene several times. The cast and creative staff were very welcoming and understanding towards Sean. He was allowed to take sensory breaks when he needed to. Honestly, the Munchkinland scene is quite long for a little kid to stay focused, autism or not. He did much better once we were doing run-throughs of the show and he only had to do his scene once a night. The director had him staged where he could leave the scene without disruption if he needed to and I was waiting in the wings for him every night in case that happened. I was nervous “tech week” because I was afraid the lights, costumes, orchestra and sound system might be overwhelming for him sensory-wise, but he was a champ.
 
He made a point every night to go up to each actor and tell them they did a great job. He wanted everyone to feel good about themselves and they were all really touched by that. He did great performance-wise and behavior-wise and everyone was so proud of him, especially our family and all the school staff that came to support him! Sixteen of his teachers and therapists came to the show.  They sent a laminated 8x10 with all their photos and a photo of Sean, telling him how proud they were of him.  Considering he could barely speak before he came to the autism program at his school, this was huge for him.  I'm glad the staff were able to enjoy the fruits of their hard work. 
 
Children with autism respond to music, visual art and theatre as far as social interaction and expressing emotion.  I also think it's important for parents, not just autism parents, to try to incorporate kids into your life outside of the home.  Sean's teacher says it's amazing what our kids can do with some hard work, a little help and a lot of patience! Sean can’t wait to do another show!

Assistive Technology

On a positive note, today was Todd’s IEP. The main purpose of today’s IEP was to determine whether he still needs services. I was definitely not worried about that, because it’s very clear he does.




He has exceeded all goals set this school year. Even though he is still non-verbal, he has improved as far as completing tasks, such as puzzles and sorting shapes. I have noticed at home he has become more communicative in his own way: bringing me a bottle of juice and a cup when he’s hungry, bringing me a diaper when he wants to be changed, etc. This morning after I changed him, he saw that my husband was in the laundry room and brought his dirty pajamas to his dad. Little things mean a lot!



At the IEP, we were told he finally was approved for assistive technology. The training will start the first day of summer school and after a few weeks, he will be allowed to bring the equipment home. Other parents I have spoken to have raved about how much the technology improved their child’s communication. This is used in conjunction with his picture schedule, task book and iPad. I am looking forward to having my own little Steven Hawking!

New phone scam (well, new to me)

I received a strange call at 8:30 this morning – the caller ID said "unavailable," so it went to voice mail. The message was garbled like a bad cell phone connection, but the caller said his name is "Dave Brown," "your name popped up," he was calling about a lawsuit, gave a claim number, said a restraining order was involved, our attorney had 48 hours to object and we had to appear in court within 48 hours. If we had any questions, he left a number: 570-983-0544.




At first, we suspected it was related to the trouble we've had of late with our next door neighbor harassing us because we have two special needs kids. But - there were several red flags - our names were never mentioned, the company associated with the claim number was never mentioned and the fact that a complaint or restraining order is served in person, you are never notified by phone.



I Googled the name and number and learned this is a debt collection scam by a company called Central Processing Services. They are a low-level collection agency that buy “old debts.” They were looking for my brother for a debt that was paid decades ago. It’s common practice with these “firms” to call family members or anyone else who may have contact information on the person they are looking for and sometimes even try to get the family member to give them money.



For fun, I called the number. They claim to be a law firm and answer the phone "litigation department." He pressed for my Social Security number and stated I could be in huge trouble in relation to this lawsuit if I didn't give him the number (LOL). When I pressed him for the court number or the name of the attorney at his "firm" handling the case, he admitted there was no lawsuit. I told him I work at a law firm and to forward any legal documents to my attention. With that, he immediately apologized and said he would remove my number from their call list.



I want to pass along some advice in case you ever receive one of these calls - don't answer the call, let them leave a message and write down all the info they leave, then report to the FTC, as well as the Illinois Attorney General Amy Madigan's office (or the attorney general for your state). The FTC and Attorney General usually end up shutting down these companies, but a few years later, another “company” will come up with another scam. I would also recommend if you receive a strange call from an unfamiliar number, Google it. If it is a scam, people are probably already talking about it online.

Nickel & Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich

Nickel & Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich


Barbara Ehrenreich is an established author and magazine writer with an educational background in biology. One day, while meeting with and editor from Harper's to discuss future projects, she came up with the idea of doing an old-fashioned journalistic investigation by plunging herself into a specific environment and then recording her observations.

Actually, her original intention was for someone else to do the project, but the Harper's editor insisted she was the woman for the job. This method is an anthropological technique where the researcher is a "participant observer."

I looked up the phrase "participant observer" on the Internet. The website for the International Institute for Sustainable Development describes the technique this way: "The method derives from the insight that you derive from a community's values, dynamics, internal relationships, structures and conflicts best from their observed actions, rather than from their (normative) statements of what "is". The participant observer attempts immersion, to the extent permitted, in local life in order to understand and document how things work." I also understand that this methodology sometimes involves consulting individuals within the demographic to be observed to get their opinion as to the steps of the process and the specifics proposed. I don't believe the author did this. I believe she asked the opinion of colleagues and friends, and used her own opinions and assumptions to decide on the specifics for this project.

Like any research technique, there are benefits and drawbacks as to the ultimate accuracy of the outcome of an observer's research. Participant observation is more accurate than surveys or statistics, as the research is hands-on. Being thrown into an environment reveals a bigger picture than words and numbers on a piece of paper.

The down side to this method is that the observations are subjective. The experiences of one observer can vary widely. Each individual human being has their own unique experience in life, and although there are commonalities in situations and environments, the view can become skewed if it is from only one perspective and not a wider sampling.

Barbara Ehrenreich began her research by first choosing a specific area of the United States in which to do her research. The locations she chose were in Florida, Maine, and Minnesota, three completely different areas of the United States and seemingly objective.

She would then look for a job. She specifically looked for entry-level type jobs for people without college degrees or special skills. To hide her education and impressive job experience she would state

on the job applications that she was a stay-at-home mother returning to the work force after a long period of time. This part was very believable. It's a typical scenario: A woman gets pregnant young, doesn't go to college, gets married, years later gets divorced, enters the work force for the first time at an older age with no experience, skills, or education.

This part was the most interesting of the project. Although I believe one month is not enough time to truly absorb what life is like for a person in a specific profession and/or job, I do believe one month was enough for a general idea, or a window to what life is like for the person she was pretending to be. I say this for several reasons. True exhaustion builds over time. Someone working eleven hours a day, six days a week for a month has an easier experience. If a person knows they only have to live this way for a month, it’s easier to live with, as there is an end in sight. The situation and mind-set is much different for someone who has no end in sight, and faces the strong possibility that the rest of their life will be just like this. The latter grim realization can cause a deep exhaustion; both depression and physical exhaustion combined.

Feeling truly jaded develops over a long period of time. The person she was pretending to be may have had a difficult childhood, had parents with similarly grim work experiences. There's a pain and desperation that only a person who has lived too long a certain way can feel. That said, I think her observations did give a general idea of how people feel and live in her chosen situations, through her personal experience and her observations and experiences with the people she encountered on this journey. I think she absorbed enough to write about it and give the general public a perspective on the specific professions observed.

Ms. Ehrenreich would take little breaks from her alternative lives periodically. She would share her observations with her friends. At one point, her friends opined that they were surprised she could have intelligent conversations and have things in common with the people she was dealing with. In her defense, she did chastise her friends who held that opinion.

Circumstances have nothing to do with intelligence. A person can have rotten luck in their lifetime. There can be unfortunate circumstances that lead to a lack of opportunities. Bad things happen to people. An intelligent person with poor circumstances that lead to a lack of educational opportunities can self-educate his or herself and actually carry on quite intelligent conversations. On the other hand, someone with a low I.Q. can graduate from Yale because of his or her family connections and not from any real merit.

She would then look for an affordable place to live. I believe this is the area where the author made assumptions. She calculated about how much she would be earning and searched for what would be considered typical housing for someone employed in the chosen profession of her research. What she assumed was that she could find something decent in her price range. This is also the one area where I disagreed with her process. She always looked for furnished apartments, as she was only staying there for a month. Generally, furnished apartments are hard to find.

People with a low income usually live in apartments that come unfurnished and furnish the space sparsely themselves. They generally have several roommates to share the rent, or move in with a relative.

Even though I disagree with some of her methods, such as the apartment issue, I believe her research was valid, useful, and fascinating. I also enjoyed her sarcasm toward the mundane, soul-killing practices of large corporations such as Wal-Mart and Menard’s. To get a true picture of a low income person’s life, one would have to live that life, but I think her brief experiences at least gave her readers a window into the realities of other lives.

I found this book interesting and relatable in the sense that you can never really walk in someone else's shoes, but you can get a taste.  Those of us living on the spectrum have a special understanding of each other.  I think if someone lived my life for a week or a month, they would get a taste of what it's like - maybe just the difficult things, but hopefully see some of the joy and the things I'm grateful for.


http://www.amazon.com/Nickel-Dimed-Not-Getting-America/dp/0805063897