Frozen

We went to see “Frozen” at a special needs showing at the Marcus movie theater in Orland Park, Illinois.  They have these showings about once a month.  The movies are in 2D, the volume is lowered and the lights are only half-down. As usual, I loved the fact that my kids can be as weird and loud as they want to, because all the kids are like that and no one is judging.  It’s such a free feeling. My son loves to run right up to the screen and dance along when characters are dancing; if there is a chase scene, he runs across the length of the screen like he’s involved in the chase.  My little guy can crawl on the floor, take popcorn out of other people’s containers – no one flinches.

As far as the movie – it’s based on “The Snow Queen” by Hans Christian Andersen.  My brother commented that this is an uncommon fairy tale where a curse is broken by family love as opposed to the usual romantic love.  Sorry if that’s a spoiler! J

Another even better article from our school's social worker

Holiday Tips for Families of Children with Autism

 

The holiday period can be a stressful time for those on the autism spectrum because it is a breach in their daily routine. However, if we anticipate the holidays and what they entail before they arrive, the person with autism can be made more comfortable and at ease—ensuring joy for all throughout the holidays!

 

These tips can be easily adapted by a parent, a friend, a sibling or any family member. Try them out with your loved one on the spectrum. A few tips can really pay off big.

 

“Everyone in the car!” Starting Off on Successful Outings

· To help day trips run more smoothly, travel in two cars so that one person can return home

                with your loved one on the autism spectrum if he/she gets distressed.

· Eat before leaving home or bring food with you.

· Bring a quiet toy, like a calculator, to a restaurant, during religious services or other social

                activity.

 

“We are going to Grandma’s!” Tips for Social Gatherings

· When going to large social gatherings, arrive early to let the person on the autism spectrum get

                accustomed to the growing number of people.

· If he/she becomes distressed during a social gathering, pick a quiet place to go or take him out

                For a walk.

· When visiting someone’s home, ask to remove breakables from reach; think carefully about

                visiting those who refuse to accommodate your request.

· Bring a preferred item, favorite toys or stuffed animals to a family gathering or other   social

                event.

· Before going to a family event, look at individual pictures of family members and teach him/

                her their names.

· Before going to a social event, use “social stories” and practice simple courtesy phrases and

                responses to questions, either verbal, with pictures, or gestures. (“How are you?”

                “I am fine.” “How is school?” “Good.”)

· Let trusted others spend time with your child if they volunteer.

· Ask for help if you need it.  Families and friends are often eager to participate.

 

“Do we have to go to the mall???” Shopping Without Stress

· To help your loved one with autism get used to malls, go early before the stores open. walk

                around, get familiar with the building, buy a snack when the stores open, and leave. Extend

                the amount of time at the mall each time you go.

· When shopping, be positive and give small rewards, such as a piece of candy, for staying with

                you.

· To teach your child not to touch things when shopping, visit a clothing store or another store

                with unbreakable objects; this gives him/her an opportunity to model behavior and

                minimize risk.

· When shopping, bring a helper to have an extra set of eyes and hands until you are confident of a safe experience.

· Provide headphones or earplugs to the person with autism spectrum to moderate the noise and

                activity around them.

Going to Worship Services

· Talk with the worship leader about what he/she might expect and how the congregation might support the family.

· Arrange for a friend or neighbor to come with you to stay with siblings should the person

                with autism spectrum need to leave during the worship service.

· Bring a quiet object of concentration, such as a rubber band, pictures, books, or an object of

                visual focus, can be very helpful, particularly if it has religious significance to enhance

                the worship experience.

· Have the child or adult on the spectrum help out. Depending on their ability, they can:

                * Greet people with a smile, and hand out service bulletins.

                * Gather up the bulletins and papers left in the pews after the service, restoring order to

                                the sanctuary.

                * Assist in holiday volunteer activities of the congregation, such as the delivery of cards,

                                toys or food.

 

Above all...

Be Consistent. Remember to apply the techniques used to involve the person with autism in daily activities to these special activities.

 

Discuss your expectations. Unwelcome surprises are never fun for anyone.

 

Be prepared and stand firm. Accept well-meaning but unwanted advice with the phrase, “I’ll have to think about that,” and smile.

 

Be safe and have fun!

Enjoy the holiday season!   

 

***These tips were taken from the Autism Society of Illinois

 

 

 

Great article - most of this stuff we know, but...

Traveling with Special Needs Children

Pediatric Therapist Aviva Weiss Offers Ten Tips to Prepare for Good Times Together

The chaos of packing, airport crowds and security, lengthy car rides and yes, even overexposure to family and friends is enough to erode any holiday traveler’s festive spirit. Add traveling with children into the equation, especially when special needs are involved, and some parents might wish they could just stay home. But a few preparations, says Fun and Function LLC founder Aviva Weiss, can go a long way toward ensuring a good time for everyone.

 

Traveling disrupts routines and removes children from familiar surroundings. This can be especially stressful and difficult for children with special needs notes Weiss, a certified pediatric occupational therapist. A mother of four, including a daughter with sensory processing disorder, she says parents of special needs children can pave the way toward less stressful trips by observing these ten guidelines:

 

1. Prepare the child in advance as much as possible. Practice for the trip for a period leading up to the actual travels. Talk about the upcoming experience to help your child overcome anxiety. Act out or role play anticipated events in advance, from taking off shoes for airport security to applauding after a toast.

 

2. Redirect anxious energy into constructive activity. To take the edge off the potential anxiety of seeing many less familiar faces all at once, make the event a fun and educational by creating a special activity. Create a small photo album featuring people who will be at the event, and help your child play “Family Bingo,” checking off each person he or she greets or sees across the room. Or, create a pictogram of your itinerary or agenda and help your child follow along.

 

3. Encourage creative expression. For those able to write or draw, a pocket journal or sketchbook for illustrating what they’re experiencing can provide another useful outlet. Children who are more observers than participants may appreciate assignments such as taking pictures with a digital camera.

 

4. Don't expect perfection. Whenever you travel with children, it’s best to “expect the unexpected,” or at least leave room for something to pop up to divert you from your agenda.

 

5. Secure an extra set of hands. Try traveling with a friend, family member or caregiver to help keep things in order when you’re on the move, provide manpower for carrying belongings and an extra set of eyes, and even make bathroom breaks with multiple children an easier task.

 

6. Manage expectations for you and your hosts. A pending visit from a special needs child may produce stress for the host as well as the child and the parent. Prepare everyone by communicating your child’s needs in advance and asking for some general ground rules for inside the home, as a gesture toward making the visit as pleasant and peaceful as possible.

 

7. Bring along some “friends.” Pack a bag of objects that are fun and familiar. Sensory gadgets/fidgets, noise reduction headphones, weighted vests, or favorite belongings from home will help filter out outside stimuli and provide a comforting connection to “home.”

 

8. Minimize changes to eating habits. Try to keep your child’s diet consistent to prevent constipation, indigestion, allergic reactions or other adverse developments. Feed your child something satisfying to comfort them before a long trip, and take along favorite utensils as a connection to more familiar situations. Don't expect your child to sit for an entire meal. Rather, prepare a spot where he or she can rest, play or calm down while the meal continues.

 

9. RX for safer travels. Ready a medicine kit with prescriptions, medical information and OTC products to confront fevers, allergies, cuts and other issues that may surface when you travel out of your home.

 

10. Preserve the moment but reserve time for breaks. The ingredients of posing for pictures – people huddled close together, bright flashes, noise and the need to stay still – can lead to overstimulation. Don't oblige your child to participate in all the photos, and be sure to take breaks in between.

 

“Traveling with a special needs child – or any child, for that matter – needn’t be a stressful event,” Weiss says. “In fact, it can be a great experience, offering lessons and fond memories for all. The keys are to prepare everyone in advance, include a few fun and familiar items and activities, and above all remember that it takes time and patience to learn how to manage change.”

 

IKEA Recalls Children’s Wall-Mounted Lamps Due to Strangulation Hazard; One Child Death Reported | CPSC.gov

IKEA Recalls Children’s Wall-Mounted Lamps Due to Strangulation Hazard; One Child Death Reported | CPSC.gov

Elementary school teammates rally around bullied boy, 6 - KPTV - FOX 12

Elementary school teammates rally around bullied boy, 6 - KPTV - FOX 12

Frozen Special Needs Movie Event in Orland Park 12-7-13

Ability On The Go!  presents:

 

Frozen in 2D

 

Who:  Children and Adults with Special Needs

(Family and friends are welcome, too!)

 

Where:  Marcus Theater in Orland Park, IL

(16350 South LaGrange Road. Orland Park, IL)

 

When:   Saturday, December 7th @ 10:00 a.m.

(NO PREVIEWS - movie begins at approximately 10am)

 

Cost:  $6.50 for ticket and popcorn

(tickets are only available at the counter the day of movie event-cash/credit accepted)

 

 

TO ENSURE ADEQUATE SPACE & COMFORT FOR ALL OF OUR ATTENDEES:

 

Please email slpjen@gmail.com with the approximate number in your party or visit www.facebook.com/abilityonthego

Your Donation will be Doubled | Elim Christian Services

Elim is an amazing place - I am so fortunate my children get to go there every day!

Your Donation will be Doubled | Elim Christian Services

Trouble in Toyland 2013 | U.S. PIRG Education Fund

ugh.
Trouble in Toyland 2013 | U.S. PIRG Education Fund

An Aspie's Journey on the Employment Rollercoaster By Ben: Trekking4Autism

Interesting post on an interesting blog...

An Aspie's Journey on the Employment Rollercoaster By Ben: Trekking4Autism: It is my pleasure to be inviting Peter Hosking to the next Orange Asperger's Social Group as a guest speaker. Peter is quite inspirati...

Ozzie and Temple

Last week Ozzie Guillen (formerly of the Chicago White Sox) came to visit the children of Elim Christian School.  His foundation made a generous donation to Elim's wonderful Speech Department.

Here is a link to a photo of Ozzie visiting Elim's ACE program:

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=481014612015820&set=a.481014605349154.1073741826.237879399662677&type=1&theater

My son had a few photos taken with Ozzie - a thrill for my husband and me, a third-generation Sox fan!

Here's a link to Ozzie's foundation:

http://ozzieguillenfoundation.org/


I've always liked him, but I like him even more now that he has helped Elim, a wonderful place I am blessed my children get to go to every day.

And just because I think she's awesome, here's an article about Temple Grandin meeting with young people in California:

http://www.prweb.com/releases/2013/11/prweb11346659.htm

Remembering JFK: 5 of His Most Powerful Quotes

Remembering JFK: 5 of His Most Powerful Quotes

Free Birds

Took the kids to see “Free Birds” at the AMC in Schererville, Indiana.  This was a special showing for special needs kids – the lights are never completely off, the sound isn’t blasting and any movie that regularly would be shown in 3D is in 2D.  I love these events – my kids can be as loud and weird and they want – no judgment, because all the kids are loud and weird – bless us all! J  The movie is about a turkey who time-travels back to the first Thanksgiving to try to prevent turkeys from becoming the main course.  Miles Standish is the evil villain who wants to kill all the turkeys.  The turkeys are portrayed in a Native American sort of way with the human invaders trying to take over their world.  Kind of an “Avatar” type tone as well.  Sean likes to get into the action – when there’s a chase scene, he runs up and down the aisles as if he’s right in the action.  Todd sat through most of the entire movie - rare for him.  He sat quietly eating popcorn and Skittles.  Toward the end of the movie, Todd became a bit bored and started lining up Skittles on the floor, sorted by color.  The Marcus Theater in Orland Park, Illinois also has special needs showings which we have attended in the past.  “Frozen” is the next special needs event.  Sean has the “Frozen” trailer memorized and keeps reminding me that “Frozen” opens November 27^th! 

Key Lime Cove, Gurnee, IL

Key Lime Cove in Gurnee, Illinois

The drive was relatively short compared to other road trips we have taken.  The layout of the hotel is strange.  We were in a Toucan Suite in the Key West wing – there is no easy or short way to get to the room; no choice but lots of walking, which is a pain with bags and children.  The other wing is called the Key Largo wing and is much closer to the parking lot and main areas.  I also noted the Mangrove  Suites in the Key West wing are more convenient to the common areas if you’re staying in that wing.

Our stay was over the Fourth of July holiday.  The balcony of our suite overlooked the expressway and the Gurnee Mills outlet mall.  The upside of the balcony was that on the evening of Fourth of July, I could see fireworks displays in four different directions.

The main area off the lobby is called Duval Street, named after the main strip in Key West.  It’s very cute – food, shopping and access to the water park.  It reminds me of the Bourbon Street section of the Pheasant Run Resort in St. Charles, Illinois – at least how it looked in the 1990s.

The on-site restaurant is called the Crazy Toucan.  Good food and drinks.   The bar in the Crazy Toucan is open until midnight – all other food options at the resort close at 10.  For dinner, I had the fish tacos.  They could have been spicier for my taste.   That said, the spice options I was given were Cajun or jerk – I opted for Cajun, so I’m thinking the jerk seasoning would have been hotter.

My first impression of the water park is that it was very clean for what it is.  It is a great water park for little ones – nothing but shallow water, which is good if you have a fearless son like mine who would jump into the deep end of the ocean without a thought.  Another nice feature is the warm towels that are available when you’re ready to dry off.  There is a food court in the water park area that offers pizza, hot dogs, etc. and cocktails.

There is an on-site spa.  The weekend we were there, there was an offer of two spa treatments for $99.  I had a facial and a coconut glow treatment – which included of a full body scrub and massage.   There’s also a Mermaid Spa for kids where they can make their own scrub.  The toiletries in the rooms are samples from both the adult and kid spas.

The Gurnee Mills outlet mall is nearby, as well as Six Flags.  Packages are available that include Six Flags tickets.  We did not opt for these, as there’s nothing at Six Flags my 7 and 8 year old were interested in.  There is a shuttle bus from the hotel that goes to both Six Flags and Gurnee Mills.  We shopped at Gurnee Mills – I found some deals, but not as good as the deals I found at the Tanger Outlet Mall in the Wisconsin Dells. 

This was a nice weekend away, although not too far from home.   We will definitely go back!

 

Carly's Café - Experience Autism Through Carly's Eyes

Life can change in a moment

This story is about my friend Jen's daughter - proof that life can completely change in an instant.

http://evergreenpark.patch.com/groups/around-town/p/bouncing-back-4yearold-battles-wilms-tumor-with-help-from-her-friends

Obama Slashes Military Kids' Access to ABA

Obama Slashes Military Kids' Access to ABA

I love Obama, but this is not good.

Together We Cope - Dress/Costume Sale Event

I volunteered this morning at Together We Cope (http://www.togetherwecope.com/home/our-story) in Tinley Park, Illinois.  This is a great organization that helps families in need in the south suburbs of Chicago.

I helped them set up for a special event - Eva's Bridal has generously donated 700 bridal gowns, bridesmaid, mother of the bride and prom dresses.  There are some communion and flower girl dresses as well.  The bridal gowns will be selling for $75 each and all other gowns $50 each.  All proceeds will benefit the clients of Together We Cope. 

The sale will take place at 18219 South Harlem in Tinley Park.  (For locals, this is in the same strip mall as the Tin Fish restaurant.)  The space being used is an empty retail store.  We spent the day trying to make it look like a bridal store.

There are a wide variety of gowns of sizes, the majority of sizes ranging from 10 to 22.  (Keep in mind these are bridal shop sizes, which are far different than usual retail sizes.)  Most are musty and could use a professional cleaning and some need minor repairs, but keep in mind many of these dresses cost thousands retail, so even with a dry cleaning or seamstress bill, it's still a bargain.

The sale is July 13th and 14th, 11 a.m. to 4 p.m.

A lot of these dresses would be appropriate for graduations or to wear as a wedding guest.  Theatre companies - there's a lot of great stuff here for costume purposes.  Come on out and support a great organization!

North Coast, California tours and vacation ideas. Plan your North Coast California vacation and travel online at VisitCalifornia.com - Visit California

Some fun ideas here - we love California & the kids were so happy there- hope to go back many times. :)

North Coast, California tours and vacation ideas. Plan your North Coast California vacation and travel online at VisitCalifornia.com - Visit California

Heart attacks – what are the early signs and symptoms of a heart attack? | Patient Talk

Reminders are always good...

Heart attacks – what are the early signs and symptoms of a heart attack? | Patient Talk

2013 Ride for Autism Speaks - Milwaukee this weekend

For any biker friends in the Milwaukee area this weekend:

http://www.kintera.org/faf/home/default.asp?ievent=1053844

Tuition Scholarship Awarded to Child with Autism | PRLog

For anyone in the Ashland, Virginia area - this organization is having a casino night fundraiser on September 21st.

Tuition Scholarship Awarded to Child with Autism | PRLog

5 Foods That Can Help Prevent Stroke - Dr. Weil's Daily Tip

5 Foods That Can Help Prevent Stroke - Dr. Weil's Daily Tip

Elim Christian Services Blood Drive | Elim Christian Services

Elim Christian Services Blood Drive | Elim Christian Services

International Outreach Summit - Welcoming Ceremony | Elim Christian Services

International Outreach Summit - Welcoming Ceremony | Elim Christian Services

Missing autistic child in southern California

Menifee 24/7: Missing Child, Last Seen in His Home in Menifee: At 10:33 a.m. on Sunday, July 7, 2013 the Menifee Police Department responded to a missing persons report for an autistic child. Terry Smith...

Worried about Diabetes? Try This Spice - Dr. Weil's Daily Tip

Worried about Diabetes? Try This Spice - Dr. Weil's Daily Tip

My mother suffered from diabetes - I am always looking for ways to prevent it.

Oak Lawn Children's Museum Princess Ball

This looks so cute - if I had a daughter or a little niece, I would go! 

Children's Museum in Oak Lawn's 2013 Princess Holiday Ball

When Saturday December 7, 2013 from 10:30 AM to 2:00 PM CST Add to Calendar   Where DoubleTree Hotel: Alsip 5000 West 127th Street Alsip, IL 60803 Driving Directions

Dear Eileen, We are pleased to announce that the Princess Ball is back and this year, it's a Holiday/Winter theme. If you have not attended one of our Princess Balls in the past, here is what is included with your ticket: Horse Drawn Carriage Rides A Princess Buffet Meal including:  Chicken Fingers, Pizza, Queen's Assortment of Finger Sandwiches, Enchanted Gourmet Cheese Bites, Mini Hot Dogs in Puff Pastry, Ham and Cream Cheese Tortilla Pinwheel Roll Ups, Assorted Vegetables w/Dip, Princess Wand Cupcakes/Rice Krispy Squares Sprinkled with Fairy Dust, Assorted Cookies, Peppermint Candy Canes, Hot Chocolate w/Marshmallows, Snow White's Hot Apple Cider and Royal Lemonade/Fairy Berry Fruit Punch. Ball Room Dancing Lessons Entertainment (Magician) Games, Crafts, and Face Painting T-shirt for the Princess Complimentary Photo In addition, the DoubleTree Hotel has put together a special package for you and your family to stay overnight prior to the ball. With that, they will hold a special "Royal Ice Cream Social" for the Princesses and their Ball Escort Friday night. This is being offered by the hotel as part of their overnight package, which you will find on the registration form. If you choose to spend the night at the hotel, while you and your daughter are at the ice cream social and at the ball, your family can enjoy the swimming pool and you will receive a late check-out (3:00pm).   Be sure to click on the link below to register or RSVP. Register Now!

Here's the link to register:

https://events.r20.constantcontact.com/register/eventReg?llr=rc5ejadab&oeidk=a07e7pd8e6882dd74da&oseq=a024t0h5znpgmd

Is Suppressing Dreaming Bad for Your Health? - Dr. Weil's Weekend Tip

Is Suppressing Dreaming Bad for Your Health? - Dr. Weil's Weekend Tip

Just thought I'd share, love Dr. Weil :)

Basilica in Orlando

One thing  about Orlando that I want to mention –

We went to mass at the Basilica of the National  Shrine of Our Lady of the Universe in Orlando.  This is a beautiful church and grounds if you have time between park visits in Orlando. 

Sean made it all the way through mass with my brother and dad.  Todd was another story.  Sean wanted to sit up front, so they did – he loves to sing along and does well at church during the stretches of time where there is a lot of singing – he usually gets punchy during the homily.  Anyway, Todd & I sat in the back. 

Inevitably, an usher approached us.  She was actually very nice.  She tentatively asked, “is he handicapped?” I told her he has autism.  She said, “there just might be an issue with him blocking the aisles at communion.”  I was touched she didn’t just kick us out of church! After offertory, I brought him out in the lobby, as they didn’t have a cry room.  He was so loud and the sound was echoing big time, so I brought him outside.  We had a lovely stroll around the grounds.   That is, until he became obsessed with climbing off the footbridge into the creek below.  It was also terribly hot outside.  Seemed like forever before Sean, Dad and my brother came out! 

Here’s a link to the Basilica’s website: 

http://www.maryqueenoftheuniverse.org/

Undressed: The Fashion of Privacy | The Art Institute of Chicago

Undressed: The Fashion of Privacy | The Art Institute of Chicago

Interesting looking exhibition, no pun intended. :)

Surf's Up | Rundown | Las Vegas

New Wet & Wild water park in Vegas.  Have been to the one in Florida...

Surf's Up | Rundown | Las Vegas

Marriage and Special Needs

Very interesting discussion on FB today regarding a painful topic. 

 

On one of our support group pages, a mother wrote for advice.  She asked if anyone who was married or had a partner still felt like they were dealing with “this” alone.  She felt like she was doing all the tough work – behavior, meetings, appointments, night waking, etc.  Yes, it’s hard when the father is like one of the children.  The response was overwhelming.  I was not surprised.

 

I read in one Jenny McCarthy’s books about a group conversation she had with a bunch of autism moms.  She asked them if they could afford it, would they stay married.  Most of them said no.

 

Personally, I would stay in my marriage, but “this” definitely is a big challenge to a relationship.  We’re in a really good place now, but there has been a lot of stress on the journey.  We adapt, and although it takes time, we work through it.  I am not surprised a lot of couples don’t make it – and I make that statement with love and no judgment.  It’s hard!

 

Many women on the FB site complained about never getting a break – which is so valid.  Their men get nights out, weekends away; so commonly the women do not.  We all need sanity time. 

 

I thank God for theatre.  I really think that makes a big difference for us.  It’s something we can do that’s not all about autism.  It helps us retain a piece of ourselves, who we are, who we were before “this” became the focus of our lives.  Now one of our sons has joined us, becoming a theatre person.  He loves being on stage and loves seeing us on stage.  The arts are wonderful for kids on the spectrum and I am so grateful we are able to bring theatre into his life.

 

I have met many single moms at my kids’ school.  I don’t want to generalize men.  Lots of fathers step up and do their share.  There’s also a lot of guys who just can’t handle it.  It can be said that women are naturally better at nurturing and have more patience.  That’s a generalization too.  I have also met more than a few special needs grandparents raising the child because both the mom and dad couldn’t handle it. 

 

One of the dads spoke up on the FB site stating guys are not suited for nursing and that they are generally raised to only protect and provide for their family.  This sparked quite a lot of comments from the moms.  This concept gets complicated when you consider all the mothers that work yet still play the nurturing domestic role.  That’s a lot to have on your plate, and it’s something all working women deal with, not just special needs.

 

This is a painful topic that I almost didn’t write about for that reason.  Special needs is a journey for the whole family.  We have to remember to breathe, not judge each other, and take it all one day at a time.  That may sound trite, but some days, it's all I can do.

 

 

Open Letter by John Gilbert

I love this post, shared on several autism Facebook pages - not meant to guilt, just to give others a window into our lives...

The other day that mom with the little boy who was making so much commotion in the fast food restaurant noticed you staring at her. He was a handful, wasn't he? His screaming was incessant and the way he was challenging his mother: unacceptable. It's understandable that you would never allow your own child to holler at you like that, or bounce between the booths. You found yourself wondering what would possess her to bring an unruly child like that out into public in the first place. As your respectful children stood beside you in silence, you wondered when he would just be quiet. And you wondered what kind of mother she must be.

If you only knew what that mom wonders.

She wonders what she can do to get him to stop screaming. Sometimes it lasts all day, and lately, it's been almost every day. Then, while you put your kids back in the car, she wonders if he'll keep his seat belt on for the entire ride. You will get them home and they'll head right upstairs to play together nicely. She wonders if he'll decide it's time to begin switching the lights on and off repeatedly, or throw to everything that's on the desk onto to the floor.

When your kids fall down, you can ask them where it hurts and they can tell you. It hurts the other mom that all she can do is hold her little boy and wonder when he'll stop crying. Later, while you wonder what story you will read to your child tonight, the mom you know nothing about will once again cry herself to sleep in her husband's arms.

You wonder later why God would give any child to "that kind" of parent, yet she's thankful that God chose her. You judge the stranger based on that one incident, while she wonders why you didn't just ask if you could help. She probably wouldn't have taken it, but she would have appreciated the gesture.

Your four-year-old has mastered the art of conversation. She find's it triumphant that her son mumbles, "go school" and "want eat." You already wonder what your child's high school prom will be like. Meanwhile the other mom wonders when her four-year-old will potty train.

You wonder who your little one will marry some day, while the mom with the rambunctious son worries that he may not graduate from high school. You plan to send your child to the best university, and the lady that you never met wonders if she'll have to care for hers as an adult.

While she's not jealous that your kids obey, talk and dream, she does wonder what it would be like to be able to call her son "normal." He is who he is. There's no altering that, and his mother wouldn't change him for the world. But feeling your eyes burn through her melts her soul. She does the best he can, and wonders why you judge them both.

She doesn't ask for your sympathy, just your understanding. Her family puts a lot of time and effort into helping him become the best somebody he can be. You don't see it, but that's all right, because his mom sees it every day. She sees the victories as well as the defeats.

You cast your judgment based on the one day you saw the unruly child in public. No one faults you for that, because the other mom used to do the same thing, back before her son's diagnosis. All the mom asks of you today is compassion and consideration.

Tonight, when you tuck your kids into bed, be thankful for the children you have and for who they are. Understand that, while you are getting butterfly kisses from your little angel, there are parents wondering when theirs will be able to say the words, "I love you."

Dells again!

 

 

Weekend in the Dells, starting tomorrow!  This time we are staying at Great Wolf Lodge.  They had the best deal for a family our size (6 adults, 3 kids).  Renting a condo again.  We rented a condo at Chula Vista for Thanksgiving weekend, which worked out very well.  Great Wolf has both indoor and outdoor water activities and theme park rides.  Sean was so excited he could not fall asleep for hours! He finally nodded off, giving me some solace to type. 

Things we will try to squeeze in: breakfast at Paul Bunyan, a Dells staple; ziplining, which I’ve never done before; maybe a Duck Boat ride?  Last time we rode the Ducks, the kids were terrified.  Maybe now that they’re a little older…the views are so beautiful.  My favorite rock formation on the Duck tour is the one that looks like a piano that fell off a cliff.  (http://www.vintagewisconsindells.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/baby-grand-piano-lower-dells-wisconsin-river.jpg)

I also would like to revisit Buffalo Phil’s – last time we were there, waited much longer than most autistic kids (kids for that matter) can handle, but the counter seats with a full view of the little train delivering food – worth it. 

Outlet mall shopping perhaps?  Who knows.  Right now just hoping the kids can stay amused for the four hour drive…

 

 

Facebook pages - observations.

I have joined various Facebook pages relative to autism parents/families/caregivers.  It’s a great resource for networking, getting ideas, helping others, even if that help is just a sympathetic ear of someone who’s been through the same thing.

There’s an interesting phenomenon that occurs all across Facebook.  We’ve all seen it.  It’s most common around election times.  Someone makes a comment or a statement and it erupts into this massive debate between friends, friends of friends who don’t know each other and these debates sometimes get ridiculously ugly.  It’s interesting the things people will say in print that they would never say to someone’s face.  Communicating with a keyboard can bring out strange things in people.  Some subtle nuance, whether intended or not, hits a nerve in someone and the fireworks begin.  I have also seen these debates erupt over seemingly innocuous topics such as waitressing.  I have unintentionally set off fireworks with a seemingly innocuous topic.  This is not a judgment of anyone who gets caught up in these debates, it’s just an interesting phenomenon that they happen. 

 

I have also seen this happen on FB pages I frequent for funny and/or inspirational quotes and pictures.   Something someone says or implies just blows up into something. 

 

I’m sad to see this happen sometimes on our autism support sites.  I saw one happen yesterday over safety harnesses, also known as kid leashes.  In general, it's a controversial topic. (Anyone see the "Modern Family" episode where this was addressed?  Hilarious!) One person made the old “why can’t you just control your child” statement, which is a sore spot for us special needs parents, then was surprised, “why is everyone being mean to me, I’m entitled to my opinion,” etc.  As special needs parents, we know better than most that every child is different and we need to support each other – certainly not judge each other.

 

I have befriended fellow autism parents, as well as adults and young people with autism through these pages.  The young people are especially fascinating to me – part of them is still a child, which I completely relate to given I have two kids on the spectrum.  It gives me a window of perspective into the future as far as my kids are concerned.

GeoGuessr - Let's explore the world!

GeoGuessr - Let's explore the world!

This game is addictive & my new favorite time-waster :)

California Part 1

The next series of blog entries will be about our trip to California last month.  The kids are getting better on flights.  I don’t know if it’s frequency of travel or if I’m just learning more from experience every time we travel and know better how to prepare.  For instance, I have learned my lesson about non-stop flights – autistic kids do not do well with layovers and connecting flights. 

 

Getting there, spirits are high.  The kids love riding in the car and they love being at the airport.  Next comes the tricky part.  Going through security is always tough.  As we were approaching security, I looked at my husband and said, “Remember this is the worst part.  It will get better after we get through this.”  The kids have a hard time waiting in line.  My Sean got so used to having to take his shoes off, he still automatically takes them off, even though children under 12 don’t have to anymore.  Putting all our things in the tubs, including Todd’s “child safety tethering device” (nice name for what resembles a leash).  We have to go through the metal detector one at a time – since Todd is not “tethered,” he always takes off into the airport once through the metal detector.  Of course, the TSAs always take their time with the rest of us, so we then have to run shoeless through the crowd to find Todd, praying no one snatches our wallets out of the tubs back at the security checkpoint. 

 

Next, the gate.  Again, the kids have a hard time waiting.  As long as they have electronic toys and we have snacks, we get by.  A McDonald’s near the gate never hurts, either.

 

I was a bit nervous about the length of the flight to the west coast from Chicago. A two hour flight used to be awful, but this time, the four hour flight to California was relatively painless.  Our flight out to California was very early in the morning, so they were still half-awake and our flight home was in the evening around their bedtime.  This is a method I will use again – it worked out very well.  Both kids slept on both flights.

 

Electronic toys are a huge help, plus the time of day we fly is important as well.  Specifically, we brought our iPad 2, Leapster 2 and portable DVD player.  Our westbound flight had a feature I have not seen previously.  Similar to international flights, there was a small tv screen on the back of the seat in front of you.  For $6.99, you could watch DirecTV for the entire flight.  Our eastbound flight home had the usual screen that drops out of the ceiling and shows a movie and then several network tv show episodes.  I always seem to be situated as far away from that screen as possible, or on an angle that makes watching it impossible.   My Todd was content just pressing the buttons on the arm rest. 

 

We arrived at LAX.  I usually prefer to pick up the rental car on-site at the airport, but this wasn’t an option.  The kids loved the shuttle bus to the car rental place.  As long as they’re happy, my life is much easier!

We Had No Idea What Alexander Graham Bell Sounded Like. Until Now | History & Archaeology | Smithsonian Magazine

We Had No Idea What Alexander Graham Bell Sounded Like. Until Now | History & Archaeology | Smithsonian Magazine

Explore Fantasyland at Walt Disney World | Weekend Getaway | Central Florida | Florida Travel Life

Explore Fantasyland at Walt Disney World | Weekend Getaway | Central Florida | Florida Travel Life

On the benefits and challenges of traveling with autism :Q&A with Michelle Conover, Ph.D.Neuropsychologist / Brain and Behavior Specialist

On the benefits and challenges of traveling with autism :Q&A with Michelle Conover, Ph.D.Neuropsychologist / Brain and Behavior Specialist

Are Genes Really to Blame for Autism?

Are Genes Really to Blame for Autism?

Easter

I’m getting more relaxed with our life as it is.  I remember when we had our first child, there was chaos at first, then we settled into a routine where certain things were expected and  then dealt with.  Of course, this evolves over time, but it wasn’t too hard to adapt.  Then came child number two.  Chaos again.  This chaos lasted much longer.  The chaos evolved into different kinds of chaos.  Things are surprisingly manageable these days.  I hope I don’t eat those words shortly.

Easter was fine.  Todd was up at his usual 4:30, Sean at about 5:30.  They were jacked on Easter Bunny sugar by 6 a.m.  Literally ate all the candy in their baskets by noon.  I was a bit bummed about that because their father and I usually graze the leftovers once the kids have had their fill of holiday candy.

Kids did fine at my husband’s family party.  Ate more candy, plus some proper food.  Sean did parade nude through the party because he was having trouble re-velcro-ing his pull-up after going to the bathroom.  Hell, he did that in a restaurant once.  Sean nudity in front of family is no big deal.

They reluctantly went back to school today.  Lots of protesting.  They love school, their teachers, the bus, their bus driver and bus aide, but I think going from a day of candy to a day of work was what bothered them.  They have one week and one day of school and then we’re off to Disneyland…

DailyWorth - 8 Travel Apps That Will Save You Money

DailyWorth - 8 Travel Apps That Will Save You Money

With or Without the Kids: Top 18 Summer Destinations - Hideaways Aficionado®

With or Without the Kids: Top 18 Summer Destinations - Hideaways Aficionado®

See My Ability Not My Disability

On March 1, 2013, my little family had the pleasure of attending an event at the Oak Lawn Children’s Museum called “See My Ability, Not My Disability.”  The evening was a celebration of our special children.  This event was organized by Holly Simon, the mother of a Down’s Syndrome child, who is also the person to thank for Holly Days, a similar event at the Beverly Arts Center in Chicago.

 

My kids had a great time playing at the museum, as they always do.  Healthy snacks were set up in the party room.  There were vendors set up throughout the second floor.  I’d like to make mention of a few…

 

I Am Who I Am.  This 501(c)(3) charity gives baby blankets, encouragement and support to newly born special children and their families.  An excerpt from the flyer I received: 

 

“…Can you imagine hearing the words, ‘sorry’ after your child was born? Can you imagine the lack of eye contact, the cold room and the feeling of doom?  I endured those moments.  I am here to erase those words from every delivery room.  Nathaniel did and does not deserve an ‘I’m sorry’.  He and the entire special community should be congratulated each and every day.”

 

Amen to that!  Their website is:  www.iam-whoiam.com.

 

One of the authors (Marianne Walsh) of “Epic Mom: Failing Every Day a Little Bit More than You” was there signing copies of the book. The book is a series of anecdotes any parent can relate to, not just those of us in the special community.  This book is available on www.amazon.com or to email for more information epicmombook@gmail.com.

 

Literature from Giant Steps in Lisle, Illinois was on one of the tables.  I’ve heard many wonderful things about this place.  They provide education, therapeutic and recreational services to ASD families and they have been around since 1996.  For more information, go to www.mygiantsteps.org or email gslemmons@mygiantsteps.org.

 

Last but not least – a lovely young lady who happens to have Down’s had a table set up to sell jewelry she had made and was also making jewelry on the spot.  Her name is Kelly Neville.  Her work is beautiful.  I bought one of her bracelets.  Her website is www.specialsparkle.com and she does special orders as well as home parties. 

 

It was a fun evening and a great event.  Holly Simon, thanks for the inspiration! J